Take Control of your Life

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne


God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only question is how. ~Henry Ward Beecher


In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. ~Robert Frost

Taking control of your life isnt always easy. Just because your life brings unexpected challengers, it does not mean you can not be in control. If you are not in control who is?????? Let me tell you that if you are not in control there will be SOMETHING or SOMEONE else who is- believe me I know from experience. As a person you are in charge of yourself, family,and your environment around you. If you believe you do not have control over your life, because you see obstacles as impossibilities to get around, you will stay right where you are, and your problems are guaranteed to become steadily bigger and never ending. If you believe that options and choices are for others and not for you, let me tell, you are selling yourself short and hurting yourself in the long run. Looking at yourself and how you live your life requires a lot of courage and effort and being REAL. Start believing in yourself before you can move forward, however you need to work on this and what happens depends on you. If someone asked you what the word control means, and let’s assume you are willing to answer this question, which of the following dictionary definitions of control would you use:

• To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.

• To adjust to a requirement; regulate.

• To hold in restraint; check.

• To reduce or prevent the spread of.

Now define control based on your experiences. Is there a difference between your definition and the dictionary one? Do specific circumstances change the definition of control? Does control mean influencing or manipulating others in the hope they will change, so you do not have to? Do you control your life, simply by using willpower? Maybe there is not one simple answer to define the word control. Maybe this is because the word control is more elusive than you would like to believe it is.
Maybe you need to involve yourself and not just your willpower to be in control of your life, Learning to take control involves looking at yourself as a whole, looking at your ideas and your perceptions of yourself and others, and how you interact. Nobody goes through life without collecting some baggage along the way. Taking control of your life implies a willingness to look at and rid yourself of dead weight. Dwelling on what makes you feel sad, exhausted, angry and powerless will not help you take control. You will always need a degree of distance from your problems in order to shift your perceptions. Once you have this distance you will start to discover choices. If you hang on to your problems you increase the weight of baggage, you then become attached to it, as it is to you. This blocks your ability to create solutions to the problems and to be the real person that you are. Holding on to things can destroy relationships and trust! I can relate to this from a certain recent situation. I just look at whole thing and think my gosh how can you just hold on to something that is negative for yourself and more importantly your family. Why cant you take control of YOUR life and not live a life of lies & and for goodness sakes start being real about things!! Taking control of your life is a big step but it can be done & its never too late.

****I know this topic is broad but I have so many emotions and feelings about a situation thats going on in my life that has to due with Stevens family. I just dont understand some things & cant see why its not fixed and controlled by now***

Everything Happens For A Reason

I don't know if every single thing that happens to us has a reason, but when I look back at my life and connect the dots, it sure does seem so. If I didnt have the parents I have, I could have led a completely different life in different surroundings and around different people. If I hadn't chosen the college I did, I would have never met my husband Steven!!! And I can go on and on with the twists and turns of my life, and how it could have been different had I made different choices. Does that mean my life was meant to be this way? It may seem naive, but I reallt think so.

Of course everyone has storiesand they really make you wonder. Some of us think of them as mere coincidences, and some of us think there are reasons for why these things happen. If we believe that everything happens for a reason, it is easier for us to alleviate our doubts, guilt, and all those "what ifs" we ask ourselves. If we believe that everything happens for a reason it helps us make sense of things and puts are hearts and minds at ease. It may just be a coping mechanism, but for many it seems to work.

We can't dwell, but we do have to play the hand we are dealt and make the best of it. If believing there is a purpose and reason for everything is what we need to do, then that's exactly what we should do.

Learning to Sit Still Sometimes

I once heard somebody define being a grown up as coming to the place where you not only take care of yourself, but you take care of others as well. If this is the case, then just about all of my growing up has taken place over the past 5 years. When I was single I could barely take care of myself!!! I was known for skipping appointments because I forgot about them. I couldn't keep my room clean, I could not stay organized, a healthy meal was pizza with green peppers or mushrooms on it. I didnt prepare for anything in advance. I had no idea what mulitasking was at that point.

My, my my how times have changed for Casey!!!! Im probably the EXTREME opposite of what I use to be. I laugh when my single friends complain about how much laundry they have. I do laundry for 4, I have a whole house to keep clean, boys( and husband) to keep happy, and healthy, well-rounded meals to fix. One of my friends watched me one time as I set the table and later told me that she was amazed at how many things I could do at once. I was holding the baby, having a phone conversation, putting plates on the table, stirring the pots on the stove, and I was pushing toys to the play area with my feet. I'm kind of proud of my new found productivity-haha

However, even though doing all these things are important, there are other more important things. We have ear infections & sinus infections at my house right now. Sunday we figured out the boys were sick -As I gave him medicine and got Caden settled he said, "Mommy, I love you- will you watch movies with CAAADEN" While my son and I cuddled and watched "Finding Nemo," I realized that just being still and loving him was what he needed the most from me. I have a huge tendency to feel like I have to be moving around and doing things in order to be productive. I don't think this is necessarily true- I have figured out a few things. The way to my oldest son's heart is literally just sitting there TALKING. He loves to ask questions about EVERYTHING!!!! He likes to have my undivided attention and gets so frustrated when I won't stop what I am doing to make eye contact with him. If I sit down, my youngest son Cam will run and climb up in my lap. He loves when I stop what I am doing and play with him,patty cake,count, and peek a boo. The way to Camden's heart though is READING. He claps his hands and smiles with pure delight pretending he is reading. Even my husband is thrilled when I give him all of my attention directly to him & sit there and just listen.

Soooooo, it seems to me that my family ENJOYS me more when I'm sitting with them, rather than running around doing stuff for them like I feel I should do as a mother and wife. I still have to clean and cook and all that because these things obviously bless my family and very important, but it seems that the most important things are happening when I'm SITTING STILL.