There is inside you
All of the potential
To be whatever you want to be;
All of the energy
To do whatever you want to do.
Imagine yourself as you would like to be,
Doing what you want to do,
And each day, take one step
Towards your dream.
And though at times it may seem too
difficult to continue,
Hold on to your dream.
One morning you will awake to find
That you are the person you dreamed of,
Doing what you wanted to do,
Simply because you had the courage
To believe in your potential
And to hold on to your dream.

“Here I go again on my own”

So you know t that AT&T wireless commercial where the dad is always traveling and he takes along his daughter's stuffed monkey.  You know, the one where he takes pictures of the monkey while traveling and sends them to his wife and daughter? I have realized that the cute AT&T commercial is actually my reality…. Ha ha!

Steven is an engineer for a new up and coming international oil company that requires him to travel out of the state A LOT and FOR A LONG TIME. So I typically get one of two reactions to our situation –" I could not do that- how are you surviving- man that would make me go crazy"or
You're so lucky! I wish my hubby traveled! Can he work for your husband?"

Really our situation works for us (or maybe we are just making it work because we have to??).  Our time apart makes our time together even more exciting and I def value him so much more.  I like having alone time & set schedules & routines too.  I like doing things my own way that consist of order I guess and he doesn't so it works out ok in that way.  I have learned to be an independent person and more importantly independent mom. I can say that I am working towards the supermom label.  I can fix things around the house, take care of the yard, minor electrical problems and so on.  If there is a plumbing leak I can usually find a solution to it after researching. If there is a problem, I def don't look at it as an bad thing maybe just a challenge. I can drive his big manly truck with no problem now, and still dress up nicely in ones days work. I can multi-task and take care of myself, my husband, my toddler boys and all the messes & outbreaks they bring along( wow and there is A LOT). I take care of our financial situations like paying all the bills and keeping things updated.  And while I can get overwhelmed at times, I think I really thrive on it & setting those short term goals everyday makes me feel a sense of confidence at the end of the day.

As we hit this phase in our life, I just wondered " How will my husband's long traveling schedule fit into FAMILY LIFE?  How will I manage doing all of the above when there is 1.5 & 3.5 yr old attached to my hip and have no family to help?  And more importantly, how will I stop myself from resenting him?  He'll get to leave town, sleep in a quiet hotel in resort areas, eat on his company's money, drink fine wines & have margaritas? He gets to worry about taking care of no one but himself without hearing anyone. While I am having to learn new ways to cope with out a male in their life & mine. Having to hear toddlers all day long for weeks. Having no "adult time" or even "girl time" without my kids.

After really thinking & dealing with our situation by myself, I have learned to appreciate him & be thankful for what he provides for us. Learned how to stay in touch with myself as individual & to appreciate myself not just as a mom but as a whole.. I have learned to do things that I never thought I would have to do. I have learned to that communication can be a sensative thing & to value & watch what you say and never hold your feelings back. Time away has made me much more creative & to think out of the box. I have learned to never give up & to always try. I have learned that my role as a mom is very much needed. I have learned that I am such a strong person even when I had no idea of my inner strength.

As for Steven, I just hope he can redirect his thoughts when he comes home. This time he has been in Mexico really has changed him in such a good way, so I hope he comes with the same attitude and puts that towards his family. I hope he has had some realizations as well. He has surprised me with his thoughtfulness because being gone so long I think has made him care for us that much more. So maybe time away does help our relationship & family time. I mean it def is so hard after 4 weeks of being away from us because I don't get the opportunity to meet anyone. Its hard to haul 2 toddlers around & then have an adult conversation while my 1.5 yr old is running as far as he can from me and laughing looking back. Maybe something will work out where I can meet with other moms here and that will make my time better without him.. I am a young mom but I love & put all my attention into them, so I hope I can connect with other moms that are similar. All in all, a traveling husband has it downsides but ultimately I think it will bring us together & the boys will live a great life because of the hard work on Steven's part & the time & effort I give. So how can I complain about my situation?!! Instead, I should be grateful.

 

 

Cash for Clunckers